Why does Trump love parades? He enjoys marching to his own drum.
Trump’s favorite weather? Anything that’s not a “stormy” Daniels.
Why did Trump bring a tape measure to the rally? To make sure the crowd was “yuge.”
Trump’s exercise routine? Tweeting at 3 a.m.
Why did Trump avoid the library? He said he knows all the best words already.
What’s Trump’s favorite dance? The Wall Tango—two steps forward, one step Political satire jokes about Trump back.
Trump’s idea of a good night’s sleep? Dreaming of his reflection.
Why did Trump love the circus? He felt right at home with the elephants.
Trump doesn’t get sick—he just declares his germs fake news.
Why did Trump bring a lifeguard to the economy? To save it from drowning in debt.
What’s Trump’s favorite card game? Bridge—he loves building connections.
Trump’s golf score is classified—like his tax returns.
Why did Trump sit on the Trump jokes that crossed the line lightbulb? He wanted to stay in the spotlight!
Trump’s hairline and his tax returns have something in common—they’re both receding.
Why did Trump bring a ladder to the rally? He heard the economy was looking up!
Trump walked into a bar... and immediately declared it fake news.
Why does Trump refuse to wear glasses? He says he can already see the greatness.
Trump ordered a Big Mac at a fancy restaurant—because he likes his meals “yuge.”
Why doesn’t Trump play hide and seek? He can’t stand hiding his greatness.
Trump’s hair is like a debate—both are hard to manage.
How does Trump plan to fix the potholes? By building a wall around them.
Why did Trump apply for a job at the post office? He’s got lots of experience with mail-in ballots.
Why did Trump start a garden? To grow his list of accomplishments.
What’s Trump’s favorite Trump jokes used by TV hosts color? Orange, because it’s the new gold.
Trump’s favorite animal? The bull—because he’s full of it.
Why did Trump go to the zoo? To see the “best” and “biggest” animals.
Trump’s secret to Trump humor for stand-up comedians happiness? Surrounding himself with yes-men.
Why did Trump avoid the beach? He didn’t want to be outshined by the sun.
What’s Trump’s favorite holiday? The one where he’s celebrated the most.
Trump doesn’t need a GPS—his ego always points north.